Simple

This blog entry will be a little different than my updates. I guess this one will be a reflection entry. Or something like that? Short and simple.

I have been in Indonesia for five months now. Yes, it has been five beautiful, chaotic, humbling, exhausting, crazy, loving, and fulfilling months. There have been days where I am on the back of motorbike riding into the sunset with an ice cream cone in my hand, laughing and singing country lyrics obnoxiously as I snap chat the moments. Then there are nights I am in my bed crying my heart out trying to figure out if I should just pack up and go back to my comfort zone. But then I think will that even solve anything? Won’t I just cry at home because I didn’t finish what I started?

You see, as I seek my love for knowledge and as I seek my love for the world, I am forgetting to balance it with my love for my spirituality. You can’t eat a banana split without the bananas; it loses all-purpose of having a banana split! Lol weird analogy, but it works. Alas, I am learning to love the questions themselves that linger in my heart and soul, because I know I am living my way to the answers. I am not expecting immediate results, however I am expecting an incredible amount of effort from my end.

The first three months were a struggle. Acclimating to a foreign home that is very different from mine, but God does send you some precious gems to help you. Never do I go a day without hearing someone say “Hello Melodeeeee, how are you today?” That means, these people no matter how they are feeling that day, regardless of their poverty stricken situations or even comfortable/rich lifestyles, have the time to always ask me how am I. It may not mean much to you all, but when you are nowhere near your family and loved ones, it means the world to you. You can enjoy being alone, but it does not mean you are ever lonely. Human connection and interaction is all around you, YOU have to make the time and effort to smile and be kind. That’s exactly what I promised myself to do. Talk to the cab driver that is eagerly curious about America and Obama. Talk to the little old lady who is curious about this young naïve girl roaming the streets at dawn. Or take that photo with the little girl who is admiring you from afar, you will make her happy. Communicate with your eyes, with your smile, and most importantly your heart, even if you cannot speak their words. They will understand because kindness is universal and it makes everyone feel something happy in their heart. You will start to slowly see that these strangers become your family in your heart.  

Giving back is the best feeling. No amount of money or material matters can compete with the feeling of helping those in need. I am grateful for my search and successes with helping the children, elderly, and women in poverty. The point is whatever you do to help bring awareness on important matters, always be genuine about it. Do it for them, never for you. Our world is insanely sad. I am talking about six year olds smoking cigarettes or toddlers begging for money and food; sights that should never exist. We have to do what we can by hoping that one interaction of positive reinforcement can spark a drastic change. If it doesn’t, its okay you at least TRIED. I have to keep reminding myself this. It is really difficult to not be emotional about everyday injustices. You see over a million child refugees of Syria, the hungry children around the globe, the lack of proper education, and the child brides of the world and it hurts, damn it. It hurts so much because no matter how hard you try you cannot fix it all. However, educating one child is a power that can never be taken away, and that feeling alone is what keeps me yearning to make a difference. Be the good you want to see in the world.

As far as my personal growth, it’s a beautiful struggle and I am doing it. Some simple yet important advice I am practicing everyday. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s journeys; we have our own path to follow. Support and love all, even if they are haters. Because any amount of hate in your heart is still a poison that has no place to be there, it will only spread. Traveling shows you the beauty and the ugly about the world and yourself. You see what you do like and don’t like about yourself and others. You decide what type of people and energies you want to share your soul with. You really learn to become friends with your heart. Your heart is what helps guide you to your passions and desires, don’t fight it. Learn to love your own company, when you do you learn to love yourself. You can’t love others fully if you don’t even love yourself. It’s not fair to anyone.

Everything I have written thus far is raw emotion from my heart. I thank the love people have sent my way from near and afar.

All of my love,

melody xx

backpacking the hot springs

beautiful children of the kampung, where we built their homes

Perspective 101

Writing and maintaining a blog is hard. I want you guys to vividly picture what I go through, but in all honesty you may just have to live here to know what is what. I will try my best to be thorough and simple, because I do not want to write too long of a blog entry. You and I both know when we see something lengthy, half the time it gets a few sentences or a paragraph of our attention then EXIT.

There are moments I cry to appreciate the beauty of the island, even with the heavily scattered trash in the neighborhoods and immeasurable stench in various blocks. Other times, I find myself crying in sight of the slums. Did I mention just the SIGHT? I do not even live near the really “bad” slums I only drive by them. You see children walking barefoot (perhaps by no choice) in the muddy water (it’s wet season so the streets are extremely flooded and muddy), laughing with one another and jumping in the muddy puddles that I am always trying to avoid but fail to. My goodness, I am in tears just writing this blog because how can someone who has absolutely NOTHING, wearing the same raggedy dirty clothes and is sometimes starving, smile and laugh? Children are remarkable, they somehow figure out how to have a childhood when all their circumstances point to hardship. When I complain to myself about the stupid rats (I still hope they go extinct), my swollen bug bites, skin reactions, or other temporary bullshit I feel like a total idiot. Children do not deserve any adversity-- yet half the struggles they undergo, most well off people would have not lasted a single day including myself. The reason why I say it’s difficult to explain to you how life is here (except the travelers and foreigners/expats who are reading this lol), is because we have a tendency to read articles, newsfeeds, and other forms of content on how chronic poverty is and how detrimental it is in other parts of the world, and in result we give our moment of sadness/gratefulness (thanking our version of a “god”, universe, whatever we believe in or don’t or by posting a thankful meme on Instagram or Facebook) then we go back to our regular day to day tasks thinking we really know/understand this form of poverty. When you are immersed in the culture of deprivation and are living in the environment you are consistently emotional. When my princess self wants to complain, I tell myself to look out the window for a second and I am instantly back to appreciation 101. REAL LIFE: I can leave anytime I want, eat anything I want, do whatever I want, but many of these people cannot. Yet, they are the kindest and most lively people I have ever met. When I went to Singapore (which was amazing as well but I was there for a short period of time), essentially to me it’s similar to America but in Asia; the people were not AS welcoming and as lively as the Indonesian people but they are still very friendly and kind hearted. I saw more Porsches and M3’s there than I do in LA or San Diego lol. However, from my experience within little India, many of them were curious because of my look confusing me with some mix of Indian. I met an Indian woman who lived in Jakarta for twenty years, Delhi for six years, and Singapore for three years. She told me Jakarta is her home and to treat it right, "you will never find a city that will show you so much love from its people, I'm going to retire there."  

On another note, thankfully I have so far stuck to my goals of traveling twice a month. I went to Bandung for a weekend, which was absolutely phenomenal. I hiked up a volcano (that was leg day for me lol), fell inside the hot springs (felt like a Jacuzzi with too many naked Indonesian men that I would NEVER ask for), went to the floating market where they had food vendors on miniature canoes across the body of water (very well known in Thailand too), and had dinner in a Jungle with trees and branches that were all up in your face! I do not know half the names of the places I went to, which is stupid of me, but I am more for living in the moment and figuring out where I went later, rather than researching/studying it before and going with certain high expectations of the place. But if you really care to know the exact places I went to I can look it up in a guidebook for you lol. Needless to say, the weather was breathtaking and GREEN all over with several rice fields, tea plantations (all you teavana lovers would be in heaven), and STARS (I have not seen stars in the night sky of Jakarta yet lol). 

I love Indonesia. I can sincerely say I love this place. Do not get me wrong it has its frustrating moments just like any emerging economy or industrializing world! The social issues, political corruption, and economical injustices, misogyny, and patriarchal dominance, can be found anywhere in the world. But, when you as a person seek the beauty in all the negativity that is when you allow yourself to assimilate to a culture for the time being. I met this Irish woman who was telling me her story and the reason why she has stayed here for five years. She mentioned how openly loving this country is. SIDE NOTE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING: obviously, there are circumstances where this may not work well depending on the region and sub-culture of the area, I am not naïve nor uneducated to know this fact lol. But, it DOES happen. Okay end side note. She was explaining to me how there was a tour bus full of people of all religious backgrounds intermingling (Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus. etc). She explained how astonishing it was that they respected the stop times of those who needed to pray and adhere to their religious duties. They returned and continued their socializing seeing one another as equals and respecting each individual’s time and beliefs. When you hear stories like this, it makes you question how the hell can a country that may have “x” amount of issues in other matters be able to have everyday people work so well with one another, when many developed countries themselves have MAJOR issues with the idea of acceptance. For example, the issue of recognizing a Muslim holiday as a part of the academic calendar. As the public sphere, shifts to provide a more prominent place for Muslims, Islamophobic tendencies ample, which unfortunately in America is on the rise. On the other hand, many Americans confuse Sikhs with Muslims, which has brutally ruined several lives physically, mentally, and emotionally on several accounts. The list is endless and you can google it all if you really care. All in all, it is unfair on everyone’s behalf. It makes you put things into perspective, and shows you that us “developed” countries, DO NOT have it ALL figured out and we should take notes from those who are still developing on a thing or two.  

Again, I do not speak for ALL of Indonesia, just from my short experiences. And again, no propaganda on any matters; I must reiterate this because there is always that one person who may twist a thing or ten lol. But if there is one thing I want you to learn from my blogs is to try to view from a neutral window. If you see it too negative, then you are too cynical and will be miserable for the rest of your life lol jk…well kind of, if you are too positive then you are too naïve on the actuality of what surrounds you. Balance my friends, balance. And if you think I am wrong please tell me! I actually enjoy being wrong; it makes me learn 10x more.

Aside from all of that, I am still waiting for my visa to go through so I can start teaching. I secretly taught my class, and they are the CUTEST little ones I have ever seen. Okay I won’t go any further because this is way too long. But I want to share anything and everything, but that is impossible.

All of my love! xo 

Cheers!

Melody Sabooki

A volcano in Bandung, Indonesia ❤️