Simple

This blog entry will be a little different than my updates. I guess this one will be a reflection entry. Or something like that? Short and simple.

I have been in Indonesia for five months now. Yes, it has been five beautiful, chaotic, humbling, exhausting, crazy, loving, and fulfilling months. There have been days where I am on the back of motorbike riding into the sunset with an ice cream cone in my hand, laughing and singing country lyrics obnoxiously as I snap chat the moments. Then there are nights I am in my bed crying my heart out trying to figure out if I should just pack up and go back to my comfort zone. But then I think will that even solve anything? Won’t I just cry at home because I didn’t finish what I started?

You see, as I seek my love for knowledge and as I seek my love for the world, I am forgetting to balance it with my love for my spirituality. You can’t eat a banana split without the bananas; it loses all-purpose of having a banana split! Lol weird analogy, but it works. Alas, I am learning to love the questions themselves that linger in my heart and soul, because I know I am living my way to the answers. I am not expecting immediate results, however I am expecting an incredible amount of effort from my end.

The first three months were a struggle. Acclimating to a foreign home that is very different from mine, but God does send you some precious gems to help you. Never do I go a day without hearing someone say “Hello Melodeeeee, how are you today?” That means, these people no matter how they are feeling that day, regardless of their poverty stricken situations or even comfortable/rich lifestyles, have the time to always ask me how am I. It may not mean much to you all, but when you are nowhere near your family and loved ones, it means the world to you. You can enjoy being alone, but it does not mean you are ever lonely. Human connection and interaction is all around you, YOU have to make the time and effort to smile and be kind. That’s exactly what I promised myself to do. Talk to the cab driver that is eagerly curious about America and Obama. Talk to the little old lady who is curious about this young naïve girl roaming the streets at dawn. Or take that photo with the little girl who is admiring you from afar, you will make her happy. Communicate with your eyes, with your smile, and most importantly your heart, even if you cannot speak their words. They will understand because kindness is universal and it makes everyone feel something happy in their heart. You will start to slowly see that these strangers become your family in your heart.  

Giving back is the best feeling. No amount of money or material matters can compete with the feeling of helping those in need. I am grateful for my search and successes with helping the children, elderly, and women in poverty. The point is whatever you do to help bring awareness on important matters, always be genuine about it. Do it for them, never for you. Our world is insanely sad. I am talking about six year olds smoking cigarettes or toddlers begging for money and food; sights that should never exist. We have to do what we can by hoping that one interaction of positive reinforcement can spark a drastic change. If it doesn’t, its okay you at least TRIED. I have to keep reminding myself this. It is really difficult to not be emotional about everyday injustices. You see over a million child refugees of Syria, the hungry children around the globe, the lack of proper education, and the child brides of the world and it hurts, damn it. It hurts so much because no matter how hard you try you cannot fix it all. However, educating one child is a power that can never be taken away, and that feeling alone is what keeps me yearning to make a difference. Be the good you want to see in the world.

As far as my personal growth, it’s a beautiful struggle and I am doing it. Some simple yet important advice I am practicing everyday. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s journeys; we have our own path to follow. Support and love all, even if they are haters. Because any amount of hate in your heart is still a poison that has no place to be there, it will only spread. Traveling shows you the beauty and the ugly about the world and yourself. You see what you do like and don’t like about yourself and others. You decide what type of people and energies you want to share your soul with. You really learn to become friends with your heart. Your heart is what helps guide you to your passions and desires, don’t fight it. Learn to love your own company, when you do you learn to love yourself. You can’t love others fully if you don’t even love yourself. It’s not fair to anyone.

Everything I have written thus far is raw emotion from my heart. I thank the love people have sent my way from near and afar.

All of my love,

melody xx

backpacking the hot springs

beautiful children of the kampung, where we built their homes

That one time I did an extreme update

Hello lovely people,

Well, it is time for an update. Since my last post I have been teaching and traveling as much as I can. I’ve been reaching my written goals and lacking in succeeding in the some other goals. But, hey, it is okay for now. I have been on quite the adventure the last month, with little to no sleep, on the go, learning new words, meeting new people, appreciating more views, struggling spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. But, what good is a blog if you do not write the vulnerable truth—eh? This will be a long one lol, happy reading or exit now!

            As far as teaching, it is a pretty simple workload. My students range from 6 to 20 years old, individually teaching me more about my patience and heightening my cultural awareness. My students keep me on my toes, literally. I am either chasing them around to wear them out, or I am trying to implement the best lesson for the hour to get their thoughts flowing in English.  

            Traveling around Indonesia has been a rollercoaster ride with no stops, just whirlwinds and sharp twists that scrapes some skin off by the end of the ride figuratively and literally. For example in Bogor, I took a selfie with my orangutan friend Jenny. She took one for us too. This was the highlight of my life, all of my life having this creepy obsession with monkeys, and I had the chance to play with one and feed/love her! But, it’s a catch 22. Taman Safari is still a zoo in a developing country. I am not a fan of zoos or holding animals captive in general whether it is a developed country or not. They’re meant to be wild and free in their own safaris from their native lands with a majority in Africa or any other place of origin.

I ran around in the rain with the elephants, loving them and playing with them. But, I could see the gashes and cuts all around their rough edged skin, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. There were moments I shed light tears when I saw a baby tiger “drugged up” so it can be sound asleep for the millions of people paying to take their photo with the exotic beauty. It was hard. The conditions were not great, I saw a bear panting back and forth half shaven and it looked miserable. First of all, Indonesia is directly on the equator. Bears need winter hibernation, the logic of a bear living here, blows my damn mind. But there goes everyone with their cameras glued to their hands and positioned to their faces to see a bare bear. Zebras, bulls, deer, antelopes, elephants, hippos, and even a tiger walk up to the cars. Some of them you feed. And the other ones you have to be careful or you will be their dinner lol. In simple terms, this was the most conflicting experience in my life. It was beautiful to see happy jenny, but heartbreaking and tear jerking to feel the emotional pain of these tightly caged wild animals, that needed to return home.

            Traveling is a gift. Not a gift that is tied beautifully in a big red bow. No. More like a weak moment that is unexpected and handed to you for no special occasion. Mine was given to me when I found myself sobbing on the bathroom floor of a stranger’s kost (similar to a boarding house). Don’t feel sorry for me. I needed this moment. It felt refreshing like damn; I survived the chaos of acclimating to a new way and culture, lifestyle, thought-process, language/food, digestive problems, mentality…etc. And I did it. I needed a good healthy, long, obnoxious cry to feel whole again. Being far away from love and comfort is difficult. In my heart I believe that God and his universe send you gifts, especially for good people. My gift at this time in Bogor was my roommate and friend Megan. Who let me cry on her shoulder, with no explanations needed; my mascara, drool, and tears mixed and smeared all over her salmon pink t-shirt holding me like a mama bear would hold her cub. She looked at me while pulling my tangled hair out of my face and said smilingly “your feet smell”. I couldn’t help but laugh so hard, after running around getting lost in the beautiful strange city for a couple hours, covered in mud and elephant/monkey hugs…I forgot how bad I smelt. My tears were streaming along my now smiling face. Love isn’t far away after all; you just don’t realize the desire for it until you need it. This is a reality folk. I love my travel experiences; however, I don’t want to image craft and filter only the beauty of my travels and leave the messes and chaos in the dark. They need some light too. It is what feeds me the strength to keep going another day, happily.

PART II

It was around 2am. The taxi man I called for was sleeping peacefully when I walked up to his car door with my overly packed bags. I decided to tiptoe back to the house and risk the chance of being late or missing my flight, so he could have a few more moments of peace from his hectic day. A few short moments later, I woke him with fuel aka a cappuccino and some cakes to energize his body. His way of thank you was going around 100 MPH to get me to the airport on time haha, I said “it’s okay mister just get me there safely”. I decided to be spontaneous and book a weekend trip to the beautiful islands of Bali, Lombok, and the Gili islands! Let’s just say…I never wanted to come back to Jakarta, EVER AGAIN after seeing the unfiltered created beauties of the islands. AHHH, I just want to scream of joy just thinking about my weekend lol. Can I just go back now? Okay, okay, okay, I will continue.

SIDE NOTE: Indonesia has over 500 different languages and dialects depending where they are geographically placed. Each island speaks their own language, practices their own cultural rites and rituals, believes in their own religion (majority are Muslim, apart from Bali being Hindu and other minorities), however, they all speak Bahasa as their national language.

I arrived in Kuta, Bali with no sleep and crazy energy to explore with my wonderful American friend Bri! There are vendors along the narrow pathways selling, hooting, hollering, yelling, touching you, pushing you, and saying “darling, beautiful, come, buy $5” with their Balinese accents. Kuta is a lively city, but the Balinese culture has been washed away with all the foreigners straying abroad. It’s a good place to party and be “Western” but it is VERY dirty too. I went swimming in the ocean and I walked out with bugs crawling all over my body and plastic wrappers tangled in my hair. Nonetheless, it is still an experience that was needed to be experienced. I am surprised my body did not crash on me with the sleep deprivation I gave it.

I did not have the opportunity to explore all of Bali this time around, but I went to Ulu-Watu, which is the beautiful Hindu temple on top of the cliff overlooking the clean crystal-blue waters and floral pathways. You have monkeys running around jumping on you, stealing your glasses and water bottles, and just outright being obnoxious haha, I fed one my coconut, he would’ve taken it from me either way.

In Bali, my inner bargainer sprang out and won the Balinese treasures all thanks to Bri who knows what’s up, they weren’t too happy. I tried my best to avoid stepping on the colorful offerings (a part of the Hindu religious rites and rituals) that are scattered all over the streets and pathways of the island. I found myself picking up a flower here and there and putting it behind my ear just to feel like a pretty island girl haha.

We took a ferry to Lombok (my favorite place ever), and on the deck I was able to sleep soundly with the breeze hitting my sore tired body. We had the deck pretty much to ourselves. I woke up to dolphins surrounding the ship, a view of clear baby blue skies and the contrast of the blue-sky ocean water. A moment of thanks had to be given. When we arrived we found a home stay called “Indah’s Home Stay”. The owner is a Dutch woman, and she has done a great job at making it feel like a home away from home. There is a straight path just for her garden with a variety of flowers and plants (that she planted herself) right when you open the door to come outside, and a little bungalow in the green scenery to enjoy your homemade Dutch pancake. The walk to the beach is about 5 minutes and you get to walk by the homes of the natives. I always think we should support local businesses anywhere in the world we go. They need it, and they do a great job at making your stay much more personal and lovely. There was a little private shower attached to the home. No warm water but it’s okay. The orange colored sky and the brightly lit moon, with the azan prayer calling from next door made it worth it and more.

I knew it was heavenly when I saw no sight of trash or bargainers pushing me into their shop. They have no speed limits. Which can be good and bad lol. Their traffic is nowhere near the chaos in Jakarta or even in Bali. The people of Lombok, or the Sassak people, still have their culture profoundly active which I was forever appreciative to experience. Clearest and cleanest waters, divine sunsets and sunrises, empty streets and friendly strangers; it was exactly what I hoped my experience in Indonesia would be. The nightlife is just like any Asian country would be—karaoke style! So of course, we danced the night away singing along like we owned the songs with the ocean waves in body lengths reach. 

The best part of traveling is that you meet people from all over the world. On our snorkeling trip to the three main Gili islands, we had a newlywed Russian couple, a woman from Estonia named Evelin, and of course my wonderful friends Lucy from England and Bri from America. With language and cultural barriers, we managed to make it work brilliantly. Swimming with the fishes and sea turtles in the exotic warm waters, running out of breath every now and then, all I could do is be grateful for every moment of this crazy journey that led me here to this moment. As I was swimming I could hear the Azan from a far away mosque, I know I mention that a lot in my writings I just cannot help that it calls at the most beautiful and vulnerable times I’ve been here.

At each island I ended up exploring what it had to offer. The first one I rented a bike to explore its tropics and bumpy roads (ouch). I ended up chilling in hammocks on the white sand beaches, climbing up cliffs, and coral/shell hunting for some true islander souvenirs. I had to get some gelato during my bike ride, just because it reminded me too much of the book “EAT PRAY LOVE”. Half my Italian dream fell off my freshly baked cone before I took my first bite. Failed attempt. From now, I guess I will just stick to my own story and not someone else’s lol. My inner female Anthony Bourdain came out as I tried the bizarre fruits and vegetables of the island dishes. Bamboo seating’s with giant luscious trees hovering over you while you watch the white waves come to shore. Heaven on earth does exist.  

OH! I recently just celebrated another life long dream—HOLI! The festival of colors, representing the welcoming of spring, forgiveness, to choose the good over the bad, to resurrect old friendships, and to focus on the color in your life and not limit yourself to just black and white. My dream is to celebrate this in India, but it was just as perfect in Indonesia. It is a day where it does not matter what your status is. Or who your father is. If you are a woman, man, rich, poor, mean, or nice IT IS FAIR GAME. Powdered colors are thrown everywhere; buckets of colored water are poured down your head, and people running around with water guns/water balloons to drench their target. EVERYONE IS HAPPY! I ate Indian delicacies from the vendors, got some henna done, and danced in the pouring rain with kind loving strangers like I was the star of my own Bollywood film. I fell in love with life and my soul all over again. I couldn’t stop smiling, dancing, or loving. My feet were numb, my skin and clothes were stained of all colors, and my entire body was saturated without a single care. I have never felt so effortlessly careless. It is a place where people can come to celebrate love and happiness, regardless of your background and faith, you are here to forget about the troubles of the past and embrace the gifts of the present. As the raindrops mixed with the droplets of colored water splashed onto my face and body from all directions, I knew every damn thing was going to be okay. Lodi lodi! <3

Now I can go on forever explaining how perfect these parts of Indonesia are but I won’t because my hands are tired. Traveling can be hard but it will be rewarding. If you stick to your gut and do what is the good and right thing to do, it will work out for you. Your perspective has to stay in the light, but it needs to know what darkness is as well.

Hold on to the little things: when a student ACTUALLY understands you and you witness learning happening. When a person who is living in poverty smiles at you as if they have no problem in the world that changes your mood, day, and life. Or even coming home to words from far away friends and loved ones who just want you to be healthy, happy, and successful. PERSPECTIVE! Keep it, love it, and do not lose it. My traveling is temporary, but the lives I touch and the lives that touch me are forever. Be good to all; give kindness even when you feel like a bus hit you. You might have just made or even saved someone’s day. Keep the light with you, even when it is trying its best to dim on you. That light is humanity and love. It needs your passion and compassion to keep shining.

            In terms of my health and spirituality, I have been trying my best to challenge myself daily. Usually I do workouts in my room with the insanity video, that my roommates always make fun of for the grunts and painful sounds I make during my work out in closed doors. Some days I lack spiritual guidance, and then the other days I realize the beauty of my spirituality is not just in my journey in Indonesia, but back home with my loved ones. The love of my life Mateen, he challenges me to be a better/happier person to keep searching for the love of God. With his love and guidance, I really feel like I perform better throughout my journey. The best gift God could give me is a soul mate that helps me get closer to God.

Goals for myself: eat more foods from the earth, read more books, pray more, and find more volunteer work with non-profits. Goals are what keep us sane when we are lost and seeking love and guidance in new places. Cheers.

Thanks for caring/loving/reading

xo

melody

Perspective 101

Writing and maintaining a blog is hard. I want you guys to vividly picture what I go through, but in all honesty you may just have to live here to know what is what. I will try my best to be thorough and simple, because I do not want to write too long of a blog entry. You and I both know when we see something lengthy, half the time it gets a few sentences or a paragraph of our attention then EXIT.

There are moments I cry to appreciate the beauty of the island, even with the heavily scattered trash in the neighborhoods and immeasurable stench in various blocks. Other times, I find myself crying in sight of the slums. Did I mention just the SIGHT? I do not even live near the really “bad” slums I only drive by them. You see children walking barefoot (perhaps by no choice) in the muddy water (it’s wet season so the streets are extremely flooded and muddy), laughing with one another and jumping in the muddy puddles that I am always trying to avoid but fail to. My goodness, I am in tears just writing this blog because how can someone who has absolutely NOTHING, wearing the same raggedy dirty clothes and is sometimes starving, smile and laugh? Children are remarkable, they somehow figure out how to have a childhood when all their circumstances point to hardship. When I complain to myself about the stupid rats (I still hope they go extinct), my swollen bug bites, skin reactions, or other temporary bullshit I feel like a total idiot. Children do not deserve any adversity-- yet half the struggles they undergo, most well off people would have not lasted a single day including myself. The reason why I say it’s difficult to explain to you how life is here (except the travelers and foreigners/expats who are reading this lol), is because we have a tendency to read articles, newsfeeds, and other forms of content on how chronic poverty is and how detrimental it is in other parts of the world, and in result we give our moment of sadness/gratefulness (thanking our version of a “god”, universe, whatever we believe in or don’t or by posting a thankful meme on Instagram or Facebook) then we go back to our regular day to day tasks thinking we really know/understand this form of poverty. When you are immersed in the culture of deprivation and are living in the environment you are consistently emotional. When my princess self wants to complain, I tell myself to look out the window for a second and I am instantly back to appreciation 101. REAL LIFE: I can leave anytime I want, eat anything I want, do whatever I want, but many of these people cannot. Yet, they are the kindest and most lively people I have ever met. When I went to Singapore (which was amazing as well but I was there for a short period of time), essentially to me it’s similar to America but in Asia; the people were not AS welcoming and as lively as the Indonesian people but they are still very friendly and kind hearted. I saw more Porsches and M3’s there than I do in LA or San Diego lol. However, from my experience within little India, many of them were curious because of my look confusing me with some mix of Indian. I met an Indian woman who lived in Jakarta for twenty years, Delhi for six years, and Singapore for three years. She told me Jakarta is her home and to treat it right, "you will never find a city that will show you so much love from its people, I'm going to retire there."  

On another note, thankfully I have so far stuck to my goals of traveling twice a month. I went to Bandung for a weekend, which was absolutely phenomenal. I hiked up a volcano (that was leg day for me lol), fell inside the hot springs (felt like a Jacuzzi with too many naked Indonesian men that I would NEVER ask for), went to the floating market where they had food vendors on miniature canoes across the body of water (very well known in Thailand too), and had dinner in a Jungle with trees and branches that were all up in your face! I do not know half the names of the places I went to, which is stupid of me, but I am more for living in the moment and figuring out where I went later, rather than researching/studying it before and going with certain high expectations of the place. But if you really care to know the exact places I went to I can look it up in a guidebook for you lol. Needless to say, the weather was breathtaking and GREEN all over with several rice fields, tea plantations (all you teavana lovers would be in heaven), and STARS (I have not seen stars in the night sky of Jakarta yet lol). 

I love Indonesia. I can sincerely say I love this place. Do not get me wrong it has its frustrating moments just like any emerging economy or industrializing world! The social issues, political corruption, and economical injustices, misogyny, and patriarchal dominance, can be found anywhere in the world. But, when you as a person seek the beauty in all the negativity that is when you allow yourself to assimilate to a culture for the time being. I met this Irish woman who was telling me her story and the reason why she has stayed here for five years. She mentioned how openly loving this country is. SIDE NOTE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING: obviously, there are circumstances where this may not work well depending on the region and sub-culture of the area, I am not naïve nor uneducated to know this fact lol. But, it DOES happen. Okay end side note. She was explaining to me how there was a tour bus full of people of all religious backgrounds intermingling (Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus. etc). She explained how astonishing it was that they respected the stop times of those who needed to pray and adhere to their religious duties. They returned and continued their socializing seeing one another as equals and respecting each individual’s time and beliefs. When you hear stories like this, it makes you question how the hell can a country that may have “x” amount of issues in other matters be able to have everyday people work so well with one another, when many developed countries themselves have MAJOR issues with the idea of acceptance. For example, the issue of recognizing a Muslim holiday as a part of the academic calendar. As the public sphere, shifts to provide a more prominent place for Muslims, Islamophobic tendencies ample, which unfortunately in America is on the rise. On the other hand, many Americans confuse Sikhs with Muslims, which has brutally ruined several lives physically, mentally, and emotionally on several accounts. The list is endless and you can google it all if you really care. All in all, it is unfair on everyone’s behalf. It makes you put things into perspective, and shows you that us “developed” countries, DO NOT have it ALL figured out and we should take notes from those who are still developing on a thing or two.  

Again, I do not speak for ALL of Indonesia, just from my short experiences. And again, no propaganda on any matters; I must reiterate this because there is always that one person who may twist a thing or ten lol. But if there is one thing I want you to learn from my blogs is to try to view from a neutral window. If you see it too negative, then you are too cynical and will be miserable for the rest of your life lol jk…well kind of, if you are too positive then you are too naïve on the actuality of what surrounds you. Balance my friends, balance. And if you think I am wrong please tell me! I actually enjoy being wrong; it makes me learn 10x more.

Aside from all of that, I am still waiting for my visa to go through so I can start teaching. I secretly taught my class, and they are the CUTEST little ones I have ever seen. Okay I won’t go any further because this is way too long. But I want to share anything and everything, but that is impossible.

All of my love! xo 

Cheers!

Melody Sabooki

A volcano in Bandung, Indonesia ❤️