This blog entry will be a little
different than my updates. I guess this one will be a reflection entry. Or
something like that? Short and simple.
I have been in Indonesia for five
months now. Yes, it has been five beautiful, chaotic, humbling, exhausting,
crazy, loving, and fulfilling months. There have been days where I am on the
back of motorbike riding into the sunset with an ice cream cone in my hand,
laughing and singing country lyrics obnoxiously as I snap chat the moments.
Then there are nights I am in my bed crying my heart out trying to figure out
if I should just pack up and go back to my comfort zone. But then I think will
that even solve anything? Won’t I just cry at home because I didn’t finish what
I started?
You see, as I seek my love for knowledge and as I seek my love
for the world, I am forgetting to balance it with my love for my spirituality.
You can’t eat a banana split without the bananas; it loses all-purpose of
having a banana split! Lol weird analogy, but it works. Alas, I am learning to
love the questions themselves that linger in my heart and soul, because I know
I am living my way to the answers. I am not expecting immediate results,
however I am expecting an incredible amount of effort from my end.
The first three months were a
struggle. Acclimating to a foreign home that is very different from mine, but
God does send you some precious gems to help you. Never do I go a day without
hearing someone say “Hello Melodeeeee, how are you today?” That means, these
people no matter how they are feeling that day, regardless of their poverty
stricken situations or even comfortable/rich lifestyles, have the time to
always ask me how am I. It may not mean much to you all, but when you are nowhere
near your family and loved ones, it means the world to you. You can enjoy being
alone, but it does not mean you are ever lonely. Human connection and
interaction is all around you, YOU have to make the time and effort to smile
and be kind. That’s exactly what I promised myself to do. Talk to the cab
driver that is eagerly curious about America and Obama. Talk to the little old
lady who is curious about this young naïve girl roaming the streets at dawn. Or
take that photo with the little girl who is admiring you from afar, you will
make her happy. Communicate with your eyes, with your smile, and most
importantly your heart, even if you cannot speak their words. They will
understand because kindness is universal and it makes everyone feel something
happy in their heart. You will start to slowly see that these strangers become
your family in your heart.
Giving back is the best feeling. No
amount of money or material matters can compete with the feeling of helping
those in need. I am grateful for my search and successes with helping the
children, elderly, and women in poverty. The point is whatever you do to help
bring awareness on important matters, always be genuine about it. Do it for
them, never for you. Our world is insanely sad. I am talking about six year
olds smoking cigarettes or toddlers begging for money and food; sights that
should never exist. We have to do what we can by hoping that one interaction of
positive reinforcement can spark a drastic change. If it doesn’t, its okay you
at least TRIED. I have to keep reminding myself this. It is really difficult to
not be emotional about everyday injustices. You see over a million child
refugees of Syria, the hungry children around the globe, the lack of proper
education, and the child brides of the world and it hurts, damn it. It hurts so
much because no matter how hard you try you cannot fix it all. However,
educating one child is a power that can never be taken away, and that feeling
alone is what keeps me yearning to make a difference. Be the good you want to
see in the world.
As far as my personal growth, it’s
a beautiful struggle and I am doing it. Some simple yet important advice I am
practicing everyday. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s journeys; we have
our own path to follow. Support and love all, even if they are haters. Because
any amount of hate in your heart is still a poison that has no place to be
there, it will only spread. Traveling shows you the beauty and the ugly about
the world and yourself. You see what you do like and don’t like about yourself
and others. You decide what type of people and energies you want to share your
soul with. You really learn to become friends with your heart. Your heart is
what helps guide you to your passions and desires, don’t fight it. Learn to
love your own company, when you do you learn to love yourself. You can’t love
others fully if you don’t even love yourself. It’s not fair to anyone.
Everything I have written thus far
is raw emotion from my heart. I thank the love people have sent my way from
near and afar.
All of my love,
melody xx
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| backpacking the hot springs |
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| beautiful children of the kampung, where we built their homes |
