Sunday, August 10, 2014

Be

Seven months. Seven beautiful, crazy, humble, difficult, mindful, and fulfilling months. It's been cool but for the most part it's been difficult. I can't sit here and lie and say I'm living the life because my body and soul has traveled across seas, boarders, and cultures. I realize how privileged I really am to travel at the age of twenty-three with a U.S. passport, but I also realize the blessings of my own bed in my family's home, with the calm familiar voices waking me at sunrise.

I guess what I'm trying to say is please don't base judgement off filtered photos. Because you have to realize they are filtered and framed for an audience for appraisal and approval in our case 'likes.' We are all (those who use social networks) guilty of it. This is why I have a blog. I want to show real depth, honest moments, and internal struggles with raw emotion and unedited tones. My voice changes because my circumstances change here. I'm outside my element. I'm nowhere near my comfort zone. I'm a small, yet courageous fish, living in a winding body of water.

People ask if you change when you travel. I wouldn't say yes, but I wouldn't say no. I am still sociable, weird, wanting to hear everyone's story 'melody.' But, I don't necessarily need to be everyone's friend, or seek to make connections like I used to in terms of quantity. I'm okay with being alone, because I know I'm not lonely. I can observe much more, instead of always being immersed in the scene. I'm learning to enjoy my own company, instead of being around 'quantity' which does not always mean 'quality'. I'm learning that silence is much better than empty words. Words are precious, and should be given carefully and beautifully. I guess I just don't need to prove myself anymore, because I'm okay with where I am going in life even if I'm clueless at points. I don't walk into a room hoping people like me, I walk in hoping I can find a quality gem to share an honest beautiful moment with. Above all, I'm learning to be present, and that's what is important.

I'm forever and eternally grateful for the people I have come across on my travels. I know I'll have a few people at my wedding because of how strongly we connected. 
I'm at a point in my life where I am outgrowing connections, friendships, and relationships. The fault does not matter, but I believe it's always both parties who allow it to crumble. Anyways, I thought something is wrong with me. Maybe I'm just weird and cannot relate to my old friendships? It's not that. It's just sometimes we grow up with different environments. Sometimes they're able to pave together, and other times they clash. I still wish the best for people that were in my life just as much the ones that are in my life. I can thank traveling for allowing me realize what a "true and supportive" person really is. Because when you're alone crying on the other side of the world, it's a gift from god to have words from home uplift you. I hope those who are reading, realize how precious the people in our lives are. Whether it's forever or temporary, thank them for blessing you with experiences. Because without them you wouldn't discover your faults and flaws to better yourself.

Now, what keeps me going on a positive streak are the everyday people and my students. The neighborhood knows and loves me lol. I am swarmed by a sea of children blowing me kisses as I go to work. And the women waving with their huge brightly lit smiles. It's genuine love and sincerity. They have nothing in terms of material, living in poverty. Yet, they have time to give me all the love and kindness in the world. This is reality. Poverty is sickening and heartbreaking, no one deserves it. It hurts when it is masked behind luxurious settlements, and people look passed the aches. You just have to do what you can, but you have to try your best to not internalize it. Stay compassionate and loving, but find your happy medium or you'll end up crying daily (like how I was for a while). I'm learning to find my happy-medium because these people give me more than I could ever ask for. 
Now, my students are adorable little munchkins. Eating the pencils, sumo wrestling each other with their tummies, and saying "miss me peeeepeee's" (I have to pee) every two seconds. I am privileged to be around these little babies, they always give me a smile, along with exhaustion lol.

To digress a bit, I met this group of kind Australian folks who complimented me and my courage for moving across the globe at this age and time of my life. They told me they saw something big in me, and that what I'm doing is well worth it and inspiring. Hearing that, was like "damn, are you serious?!" Everyone wants to inspire and be something to someone, so hearing that at a vulnerable time of my life, gave me strength to keep going and doing.

I'll leave you with "never belittle a persons experience" we're all on different journeys that cannot always be understood by the same perspective. Listen with the intent of being loving and understanding, not for comparing and critiquing (or always trying to be right). Embrace your wrongs, it's what keeps you human and humble. Love your surroundings, but if it's damaging change the scenery. Put your soul where it is able to quench it's thirst. Be honest with yourself. It's the only way to keep your head up and going. 

xx 
Melody
being present 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

h a p p y

1. be nice to the people you don't like for good faith to go towards your loved ones, kind of like karma I guess. 
2. listen to your mama she can spot the bad when you're blinded by love/lust. 
3. eat foods from the earth and stay active. even if it's twice a week. you're doing something at least
4. down to your last dollar? give it to someone in need.
5. keep your faith alive and personal, don't shove your beliefs and opinions down other peoples throats
6. don't say yes if you don't mean it, make yourself happy first 
7. when in doubt write it out
8. love yourself, you can't love another person fully if you can't even be kind to yourself
9. take care of your skin, hair, and nails. take your vitamins and get/make your treatments. 
10. say hi to strangers. look up and smile. 
11. apply to jobs/schools you fear, you never know
12. the word 'friend' should be given sparingly. be careful. 
13. travel alone and eat alone, you usually meet great company. but your own company should always be your favorite. 
14. know you are never alone, when you love yourself, you will know this is true 
15. be on time 
16. always give back, and pay it forward 
17. don't do anything for recognition 
18. you only have one body, be nice to it! don't sham yourself. encourage it, it's keeping you alive! 
19. read. a lot more. 
20. be careful with what news outlets you trust 
21. always friend the locals, they know more than anyone. they are the people. 
22. listen. give your undivided attention. put your phone down. 
23. be the person you want to meet
24. say 'thank you' to a compliment. that's beautiful and humble, not "omg no way I'm blah blah." stop!
25. be silly
26. feed the stray animals when you can 
27. stay connected to your loved ones, keep your foot in their worlds too.
28. be around people who want to talk to you about theories and controversies of science and the world, not gossip about others. 
29. sleep 
30. live like a nomad for a year, sleep on floors if you have to. the heavenly views and sunsets make it worth it.
31. volunteer because you care, not to make yourself look better 
32. global issues are OUR problems, not their problems 
33. pray/meditate, or something...theist or atheist, there is always something you can do to free your mind and soul. if you don't believe in the soul do a logic puzzle then lol those are fun help you unwind. 
34. leave the patriotic and self-entitled attitude at home before you travel. 
35. they don't speak english, it's never their fault. it's yours for not learning the local language before your travels. 
36. don't believe social media, people make themselves seem like prophets on there. image crafting can be dangerous 
37. love. no matter how hurt you are love anyways. 
38. the greatest battle is to battle your own soul, to fight, the evil within yourself 
39. do not find the fault in others, if you find the fault in them, god may take their faults way and give them to you. 
40. routine may perhaps be lethal, but it is still necessary. have a positive and enjoyable one wherever you end up 
41. you grow outside your comfort zone
42. eat on the floor
43. don't be around energies that influence you negatively. if they make you feel bad, stay away. it's lethal. 
44. whole heartedly believe in good faith because it exists
45. smile, you may have made/saved someone's day 
46. it will never ever be cool to be mean 
47. if you don't communicate thoroughly and kindly, it will never be resolved 
48. always wonder and wander
49. Anything said before the "but" is bs. I love you but...hahaha (my professor taught me this)
50. feed your soul, not the ego 
51. close your eyes, fall in love, and stay there. be foolishly in love, because there is nothing else greater than love 
52. good attracts good, what you see around in the world is a reflection of who you are. any ounce of hate in your heart is poison. get rid of that toxic it has no place to be in your beautiful heart. 
53. don't compare journeys or paths, rather support and send love that we all make it 


Just a list I compiled. There are many more you guys should add to it. The way I try to live especially as a nomad lol. Traveling doesn't change you. It just heightens your strengths and weaknesses. I'm still indecisive and naive melody. I still have a bad sense of direction and my blonde moments are heightened to the max. However, I do know more than ever that I should love everyone, trust a few, and learn from all. Everyone is bound to teach and influence us in some shape or form, it's up to our character to form the outcome of it. Be the person you crave to be, and do the beautiful things your heart desires. When you learn to become friends with your heart incredible experiences and miracles come your way. Don't forget to always spread that love!

"Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." -Maria Rilke 

all of my love,

melody 

do what you can

Friday, May 9, 2014

Simple


This blog entry will be a little different than my updates. I guess this one will be a reflection entry. Or something like that? Short and simple.
I have been in Indonesia for five months now. Yes, it has been five beautiful, chaotic, humbling, exhausting, crazy, loving, and fulfilling months. There have been days where I am on the back of motorbike riding into the sunset with an ice cream cone in my hand, laughing and singing country lyrics obnoxiously as I snap chat the moments. Then there are nights I am in my bed crying my heart out trying to figure out if I should just pack up and go back to my comfort zone. But then I think will that even solve anything? Won’t I just cry at home because I didn’t finish what I started?
You see, as I seek my love for knowledge and as I seek my love for the world, I am forgetting to balance it with my love for my spirituality. You can’t eat a banana split without the bananas; it loses all-purpose of having a banana split! Lol weird analogy, but it works. Alas, I am learning to love the questions themselves that linger in my heart and soul, because I know I am living my way to the answers. I am not expecting immediate results, however I am expecting an incredible amount of effort from my end.
The first three months were a struggle. Acclimating to a foreign home that is very different from mine, but God does send you some precious gems to help you. Never do I go a day without hearing someone say “Hello Melodeeeee, how are you today?” That means, these people no matter how they are feeling that day, regardless of their poverty stricken situations or even comfortable/rich lifestyles, have the time to always ask me how am I. It may not mean much to you all, but when you are nowhere near your family and loved ones, it means the world to you. You can enjoy being alone, but it does not mean you are ever lonely. Human connection and interaction is all around you, YOU have to make the time and effort to smile and be kind. That’s exactly what I promised myself to do. Talk to the cab driver that is eagerly curious about America and Obama. Talk to the little old lady who is curious about this young naïve girl roaming the streets at dawn. Or take that photo with the little girl who is admiring you from afar, you will make her happy. Communicate with your eyes, with your smile, and most importantly your heart, even if you cannot speak their words. They will understand because kindness is universal and it makes everyone feel something happy in their heart. You will start to slowly see that these strangers become your family in your heart.  
Giving back is the best feeling. No amount of money or material matters can compete with the feeling of helping those in need. I am grateful for my search and successes with helping the children, elderly, and women in poverty. The point is whatever you do to help bring awareness on important matters, always be genuine about it. Do it for them, never for you. Our world is insanely sad. I am talking about six year olds smoking cigarettes or toddlers begging for money and food; sights that should never exist. We have to do what we can by hoping that one interaction of positive reinforcement can spark a drastic change. If it doesn’t, its okay you at least TRIED. I have to keep reminding myself this. It is really difficult to not be emotional about everyday injustices. You see over a million child refugees of Syria, the hungry children around the globe, the lack of proper education, and the child brides of the world and it hurts, damn it. It hurts so much because no matter how hard you try you cannot fix it all. However, educating one child is a power that can never be taken away, and that feeling alone is what keeps me yearning to make a difference. Be the good you want to see in the world.
As far as my personal growth, it’s a beautiful struggle and I am doing it. Some simple yet important advice I am practicing everyday. Don’t compare yourself to other people’s journeys; we have our own path to follow. Support and love all, even if they are haters. Because any amount of hate in your heart is still a poison that has no place to be there, it will only spread. Traveling shows you the beauty and the ugly about the world and yourself. You see what you do like and don’t like about yourself and others. You decide what type of people and energies you want to share your soul with. You really learn to become friends with your heart. Your heart is what helps guide you to your passions and desires, don’t fight it. Learn to love your own company, when you do you learn to love yourself. You can’t love others fully if you don’t even love yourself. It’s not fair to anyone.
Everything I have written thus far is raw emotion from my heart. I thank the love people have sent my way from near and afar.

All of my love,

melody xx


backpacking the hot springs

beautiful children of the kampung, where we built their homes

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Just Keep Swimming (extreme update)


I used to always think never underestimate the power of a shower. I choose my words carefully now. I am just grateful for running water to clean the mud off my body. SIDE NOTE: Do not think all of Indonesia is like this lol, it is just where I live. There are luxurious homes and villas a person would love to die in because it is so clean and perfect. END NOTE. However, there are days I want to take a hot shower or bubble bath to ease my nerves. Instead I get cold metallic water that smells of every element on the periodic table. You would think I’d at least have the shower to myself. Nope. I have to share it with the stray lizards and creepy insects. Personal space does not exist in this country lol.
I find my moments of escapes to be a clean Persian princess, outside my humanitarian ways in the quaint and humble Javanese salons of Jakarta. I usually try to do this once a month, a WHOLE BODY, MIND, AND SOUL cleanse. I am there for at least eight hours, scrubbing the pollution, mud, dirt, and disgust that have been trapped under my skin and cuticles for the last month. A full detoxifying ritual, body scrubs, massages, a seaweed wrap, body masks (honey/yogurt, or mud, etc), full botanical deep moisturizing/invigorating facial, royal manicure and pedicure (you should see the dead skin they scrape off, it’s disgusting, I am disgusting), and a cream bath for my hair. All of the products are natural and organic, which is even more blissful. The settings differ from each spa, but since it is my treat to myself I usually try to choose the best of the best, I want the authentic Javanese salon that makes me feel like I am in an Eastern heaven. The best part is converting your USD (U.S Dollars) to IDR (Indonesian Rupiahs). When I tell you I go full out, I mean it. I feel like a whole new woman. I take advantage of the hot water supply, and bathe in every inch of the stone made Jacuzzis filled with rose petals. If I were to have ALL of the treatments (eight hours worth) done in the U.S. I would be in debt. However, our currency is much stronger which brings it to our benefit to enjoy the extravagant and luxurious lifestyle of SE Asia. A one-hour hot stone massage with essential oils in the states would be about $100-150 (at a luxury spa); here it is about $5-20 depending on where you go. So keep that in perspective when I say, I TAKE ADVANTAGE of these moments of escapes. Then after my treatment is over, I step outside and it is pollution 101 clogging my extracted pores all over again. It was good while it lasted 

Before I get started on my trips/adventures let me touch base about my students. Teaching has been a rollercoaster on its own. My younger students are a handful for the most part, but it feels good knowing that they are learning and soaking up the knowledge quickly. I love them all so much, and I am grateful to teach every one of them even when they are crazy devils. I was the same at their age, it’s my karma I guess haha.
My lessons are far more meaningful and touching with my older students. I feel like I actually make a useful difference apart from teaching them English. I am helping some of them prepare for foreign exams so they can get scholarships to study abroad for university. I am helping someone with his or her future; it is kind of a big deal lol.
Then you have the self-confiding moments that every insecure teenager around the world goes through.
Example: Miss can I ask you a personal question? "How dark is my skin on a scale of 1-10, I'm not very confident." -my 16 year old boy student.
Me: "Listen...all of you. This skin. What is the purpose of it? It's your biggest organ; its sole purpose is to protect you. Right? In terms of color, we are all different because if we were the same, how boring of a world would that be? Many people in the western world tan to get your golden skin. Including myself. So please, listen to me when I say your skin is alluring and made perfectly just for you. Now I don't ever want to hear you question your confidence on something that is so intriguingly beautiful about each and everyone of you." 

I felt a genuine shift in the class, in a very good way. They started reflecting for how grateful they are for having skin in the first place, and that God made them healthy.
They all smiled, and continued the lesson. I have never had them smile, laugh, and love so much to the point they were on the floor cracking up from joy. A great lesson it was, a difference it made too. I think this is when they say teaching can be very rewarding, but very difficult. I was in tears after because I was so overwhelmed. I love these kids.    Otherwise I wouldn't care and would just work merely for the purpose of travel. It's a difficult topic and I don't know if I am the person or adequate for it. I'm born with fair skin and I cannot further relate exactly with their insecurities only understand with my own similar ones. Then I think does my word really make a difference to them? Am I even privileged to say a word to them? It's a VERY difficult subject.
THIS isn't America. Standards and laws differ, and God is mentioned all the time for it's their primary focus. So on a positive it's great to mention god and that kind of allows them to put things in perspective to be thankful rather than to self-hate what he created for them. I would appreciate any help/input. I am in a position where my word can make or break a person’s self-esteem, and I will not allow it to break.

PART II

            I have been quite the adventure seeker. One of my craziest and most brilliant experiences was zip lining across a lake that changes colors (pink-orange, blue-green) depending on the reflection of the sun. It was amongst the tea plantations with humongous aged trees surrounding the lake’s scenery. It was the perfect picture for a cabin magazine ad—minus the cold weather. You have little bamboo made houseboats floating by for that real authentic feel. Oh, and you cannot forget the dozens of ugly wild monkeys that will steal anything and everything that is in your hand! They are mean and they’re running around everywhere. I climbed up the ladder that led me to the giant tree to swing me off to the zip line with no hesitation. You cannot wait, you have to jump right into it, and keep your eyes open! It was magnificent; I was flying through the fog with the beautiful breeze and tiny raindrops striking against my entire body. My eyes have never been so open and eager to wander around! The vicious monkeys, huge green trees up down left and right, tea plantations for acres, the steady colorful lake below my stomach, the man selling fresh organic honey in the corner far below, I could see it all and taste it all. I did not want this moment to end. It only lasted a minute or two. It was worth it. I now know what it means to feel infinite or I think I do. The few experiences I’ve shared, including this one have made my entire trip.
Traveling and doing what I can to help the world is all that I could ask for in my twenties. It comes with a price: my happiness and sanity (I am making it sound more drastic than it really is lol). Sometimes I lose it because I cannot accept my so-called “bad” situations outside my comfort zone. Like when I am hospitalized with no English-speaking doctors or because it is my fault for not speaking their language fluently, and little to no translation is available. Or walking in the rain with no cash for rides and going to pharmacy to pharmacy pointing at my doctors note to find the antidote my body needs. I still never found it lol. It would’ve been frustrating in the states too. I would’ve called Rite Aid and had them check their system to see which is the closest pharmacy that carries the drug, to save my time and money. That is the downside of living in a developing country; the easy shortcuts are luxuries not necessities. Obviously, I manage and I am able to make myself laugh from the outrageous situations. From having a fever and an infection (my armpit was the size of a golf ball) I continue my walk in the rain with my eyes open to see what I sometimes forget to thank God for: the heavenly view after the rain. Trees look healthier the roads are cleaner, and when I walk by this specific street on my block I stop for a moment, I can get a tiny whiff of fresh rose water, it’s only for two seconds though. Then it is back to pollution and wet dog stenches streaming down my lungs. Those tiny little things are what keep me going and give me that spark of happiness that I need to be grateful for the life I live. It is not much. When you do not have the same luxuries you are used to, you make the most of what you got and get. I like to talk to my God on my walks home, it makes me feel like “hey no matter what happens in this crazy city, I know someone is sending me small gifts to tell me they care and to motivate me to keep going for my temporary time here”.
 Not everyone who travels the world goes for the same reasons. Many may perhaps be running away from their previous lives. Some might be just like me who want international experience, to help others, and to travel their world. Or they may just be drunken hippies backpacking the world in search of what is written for them. Some of the people are great with interesting stories. Some aren’t. It’s nice to listen to them either way. We all need someone to listen. It makes us feel better.
 It is hard to find people who can totally relate to your situation. Even people from back home will not be able to understand you because they have never done it before (unless you are lucky and have friends who traveled/lived in the developing world then you are awesome lol). You do not want to sound like an ethnocentric asshole, first world princess/prince, or an inept traveler. I do not want to fit a typical Westerner/American stereotype that can’t handle some of the worldly situations thrown at her. BUT, DAMN! It is hard. I will admit that I struggle. I will keep struggling.  And much respect to those who can handle some things that I cannot, but then what world would we live in if everyone can do everything? Just know whatever you are going through, if you keep fighting for it because you believe in it, eventually it will work out. And if it doesn’t, well there are a plethora of pathways you have not discovered yet. Keep moving. Every experience is a lesson; it depends on your character on what you make of it. Always choose the light, it will guide you to better directions and will keep you happy. I’m learning to follow this direction myself. Even if I have to make a few detours, I will eventually find it. So will you. It’s written.

PART III

            Thankfully I have been sticking to my goals. I have been traveling around Indonesia, learning more about my spirituality, and rediscovering my likes and dislikes in this small world.
Belitung Island in Sumatra, the most beautiful island my eyes have ever witnessed. My eyes were burning because of how heavenly it was. My trip was unplanned, the stupidest thing a person can do. But, I am melody; I do a lot of stupid things haha. In my mind, I always think it will work out, but I still need to prepare better for ohhh you know, solo trips around a foreign country where I know no one and do not speak their language. I am sure it would be a smart thing to do, right?
When I arrive I am ripped off of nearly all the cash I have on me! The perks of being a foreigner! The hotel room I originally booked had a mandi (you shower with a bucket), so I upgraded to the only room with a hot shower. In a struggle to communicate using body language like a two year old with the receptionists of how to get around the island for my few days there, I nearly broke down into tears because I was so helpless. The people are so kind in trying their best to understand me, and I know it is my fault for not picking up the language well enough; it was still a messy moment. I laughed instead. I laughed to the point we all started laughing, because I knew in my heart it would be resolved. God always helps good people. My gift appeared right then, a family of three who happened to speak English, and had one space left in their trip. I looked up at them, and couldn’t thank them enough from the bottom of my heart. I thanked the man above, simultaneously.
This family became my family for the weekend and a part of my life; they opened my heart even more. We traveled the exotic beauties together. Rock climbed the ocean rocks, snorkeled, island hopped, enjoyed fresh coconuts by the sea, ate oysters off the coral (illegally, but I had to be Anthony Bourdain lol), and enjoyed the God given sunsets. We learned about the islanders’ organic medicines with every bite of the seafood/medicine we devoured. Every island had its individual beauty whether it was the massive starfishes and sea creatures or the fresh seafood for less than $5 a plate. Trash becomes non-existent the further the islands, the only trash are coconut shells and oyster shells. One of the islands had a turtle conservatory for Hawksbill turtles. They would catch the turtles, breed them, and take care of their eggs because the Komodo dragons eat the turtles! They are preventing them from becoming an endangered species, by creating a habitat that is safe for the turtles. Once the eggs are hatched they send them back to the sea. The islanders are good people. The non-profits are authentic and relevant to the islanders’ way of life that will sustain their future generations too. Walking to the conservatory was the best part, an exotic pathway resembling the movie/book “A Jungle Book”. Haha I felt like Moglie!! 
Belitung is known for their tin mines, which are absolutely gorgeous, the clouds reflection is shown in the water! They are the second largest tin exporter in the world. Our guide (it was his first time as a guide) took us to the most magnificent secret spots of the islands. I really appreciate this island for keeping the culture alive, absolutely little to no westernization. For example there are no gas stations, just small mom and pop shops with bottles filled with gasoline and a funnel tube. Old school.
I was soaking the lush palm trees, the oceanfront small traditional wooden houses, and the non-congested roads. You would see the elderly people walking nearly barefoot to the mosque to adhere to their prayer times. People were simply alive. After a long day of island hopping, my family asked the guide to stop by the mosque to pray. I watched them cleanse their soul and thank God, for the blessing in their life. I couldn’t believe it. Especially on vacation, a time to be selfish and worldly, they still stopped to pray for a thank you to their creator. I don’t know why it touched me so much, something so normal for them and yet foreign to me. They are magnificent people with warm souls; God really has protected and loved them. You can see it. We all agreed it was in God’s plan to meet. Want to know the craziest part; they live very close to me in Jakarta…like 10-15 minutes away!
I can’t explain everything as much as I would like to. I have been given gifts and stories from people that I was meant to meet and love. My last day on the island after my new family had left to go back home, I spent it with my guide on the back of his motorbike soaking in the island’s magic. I was soaking it all up. Riding on the back of a stranger’s bike, who later then became my friend. We didn’t speak each other’s languages, so we used what little we knew and Google translate if the signal permitted it. You don’t need language to communicate, it can happen with effort and kindness. He took me to his home first “miss, me family, you come” I said okay to it all. I knew I was safe.
They didn’t have much. It was an open room with no furniture. I sat on the floor and they kindly offered me what they had. They were humble people who wanted to gaze at their foreign guest. The little girls would play with my tangled hair and smile. I couldn’t stop but admire all of their beauty, inner and outer! I am grateful for this moment because I was able to rely a message to these young girls who kept admiring my skin color and nose as being the look to “aspire” for. Which is complete bullshit. Only because I am fair-skinned with a big Persian nose in comparison to their golden skin and flatter nose. The self-love was missing. I had to show them how beautiful they are and how people even try to aspire for their look. I don’t know how I was able to do it with my few words of Bahassa, but she was happy. That’s all that matters. Insecurities are universal no matter if you are rich or poor. We have to remind people of what they have physically and internally. That may save a young lady from starving herself or from whitening her skin to resemble a falsified “perfection” from a screwed up societal standard. Developing or developed country, we all need to know how beautiful and loved we are. It’s human matters.
My guide and I continue our adventure to the top of the mountain in the rain to the waterfall. He brings us snacks and we have our little picnic in scrambled words and laughter. There is no feeling better than riding on a motorbike in a scenic route in the rain. Your hair will hate you especially if it is long, but you will feel so alive and awakened. 
We set off to the mountains near this park for zip lining, trampoline/bungee jumping (which I did, painfully lol), and a gorgeous sunset in the land that continues for acres. The family that owned this park was so kind and hospitable to me. They were showing me around everywhere and taking photos of my every move lol. I am so grateful for all the kind-hearted people I have met thus far. They really have showed me more love than I could have ever expected. But, its like the saying goes “what you give to the world, you receive”.
Now I can go on and on, about how fantastic my trips and experiences have been. But I will stop here. This is my story; I am reading the pages that were already written for me. Some pages I will be stuck on, some I will skip, and others will be erased. It’s my story; we all have one. Let’s live it.



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

That one time I did an extreme update


Hello lovely people,

Well, it is time for an update. Since my last post I have been teaching and traveling as much as I can. I’ve been reaching my written goals and lacking in succeeding in the some other goals. But, hey, it is okay for now. I have been on quite the adventure the last month, with little to no sleep, on the go, learning new words, meeting new people, appreciating more views, struggling spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. But, what good is a blog if you do not write the vulnerable truth—eh? This will be a long one lol, happy reading or exit now!
            As far as teaching, it is a pretty simple workload. My students range from 6 to 20 years old, individually teaching me more about my patience and heightening my cultural awareness. My students keep me on my toes, literally. I am either chasing them around to wear them out, or I am trying to implement the best lesson for the hour to get their thoughts flowing in English.  
            Traveling around Indonesia has been a rollercoaster ride with no stops, just whirlwinds and sharp twists that scrapes some skin off by the end of the ride figuratively and literally. For example in Bogor, I took a selfie with my orangutan friend Jenny. She took one for us too. This was the highlight of my life, all of my life having this creepy obsession with monkeys, and I had the chance to play with one and feed/love her! But, it’s a catch 22. Taman Safari is still a zoo in a developing country. I am not a fan of zoos or holding animals captive in general whether it is a developed country or not. They’re meant to be wild and free in their own safaris from their native lands with a majority in Africa or any other place of origin.
I ran around in the rain with the elephants, loving them and playing with them. But, I could see the gashes and cuts all around their rough edged skin, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. There were moments I shed light tears when I saw a baby tiger “drugged up” so it can be sound asleep for the millions of people paying to take their photo with the exotic beauty. It was hard. The conditions were not great, I saw a bear panting back and forth half shaven and it looked miserable. First of all, Indonesia is directly on the equator. Bears need winter hibernation, the logic of a bear living here, blows my damn mind. But there goes everyone with their cameras glued to their hands and positioned to their faces to see a bare bear. Zebras, bulls, deer, antelopes, elephants, hippos, and even a tiger walk up to the cars. Some of them you feed. And the other ones you have to be careful or you will be their dinner lol. In simple terms, this was the most conflicting experience in my life. It was beautiful to see happy jenny, but heartbreaking and tear jerking to feel the emotional pain of these tightly caged wild animals, that needed to return home.

            Traveling is a gift. Not a gift that is tied beautifully in a big red bow. No. More like a weak moment that is unexpected and handed to you for no special occasion. Mine was given to me when I found myself sobbing on the bathroom floor of a stranger’s kost (similar to a boarding house). Don’t feel sorry for me. I needed this moment. It felt refreshing like damn; I survived the chaos of acclimating to a new way and culture, lifestyle, thought-process, language/food, digestive problems, mentality…etc. And I did it. I needed a good healthy, long, obnoxious cry to feel whole again. Being far away from love and comfort is difficult. In my heart I believe that God and his universe send you gifts, especially for good people. My gift at this time in Bogor was my roommate and friend Megan. Who let me cry on her shoulder, with no explanations needed; my mascara, drool, and tears mixed and smeared all over her salmon pink t-shirt holding me like a mama bear would hold her cub. She looked at me while pulling my tangled hair out of my face and said smilingly “your feet smell”. I couldn’t help but laugh so hard, after running around getting lost in the beautiful strange city for a couple hours, covered in mud and elephant/monkey hugs…I forgot how bad I smelt. My tears were streaming along my now smiling face. Love isn’t far away after all; you just don’t realize the desire for it until you need it. This is a reality folk. I love my travel experiences; however, I don’t want to image craft and filter only the beauty of my travels and leave the messes and chaos in the dark. They need some light too. It is what feeds me the strength to keep going another day, happily.

PART II

It was around 2am. The taxi man I called for was sleeping peacefully when I walked up to his car door with my overly packed bags. I decided to tiptoe back to the house and risk the chance of being late or missing my flight, so he could have a few more moments of peace from his hectic day. A few short moments later, I woke him with fuel aka a cappuccino and some cakes to energize his body. His way of thank you was going around 100 MPH to get me to the airport on time haha, I said “it’s okay mister just get me there safely”. I decided to be spontaneous and book a weekend trip to the beautiful islands of Bali, Lombok, and the Gili islands! Let’s just say…I never wanted to come back to Jakarta, EVER AGAIN after seeing the unfiltered created beauties of the islands. AHHH, I just want to scream of joy just thinking about my weekend lol. Can I just go back now? Okay, okay, okay, I will continue.
SIDE NOTE: Indonesia has over 500 different languages and dialects depending where they are geographically placed. Each island speaks their own language, practices their own cultural rites and rituals, believes in their own religion (majority are Muslim, apart from Bali being Hindu and other minorities), however, they all speak Bahasa as their national language.
I arrived in Kuta, Bali with no sleep and crazy energy to explore with my wonderful American friend Bri! There are vendors along the narrow pathways selling, hooting, hollering, yelling, touching you, pushing you, and saying “darling, beautiful, come, buy $5” with their Balinese accents. Kuta is a lively city, but the Balinese culture has been washed away with all the foreigners straying abroad. It’s a good place to party and be “Western” but it is VERY dirty too. I went swimming in the ocean and I walked out with bugs crawling all over my body and plastic wrappers tangled in my hair. Nonetheless, it is still an experience that was needed to be experienced. I am surprised my body did not crash on me with the sleep deprivation I gave it.
I did not have the opportunity to explore all of Bali this time around, but I went to Ulu-Watu, which is the beautiful Hindu temple on top of the cliff overlooking the clean crystal-blue waters and floral pathways. You have monkeys running around jumping on you, stealing your glasses and water bottles, and just outright being obnoxious haha, I fed one my coconut, he would’ve taken it from me either way.
In Bali, my inner bargainer sprang out and won the Balinese treasures all thanks to Bri who knows what’s up, they weren’t too happy. I tried my best to avoid stepping on the colorful offerings (a part of the Hindu religious rites and rituals) that are scattered all over the streets and pathways of the island. I found myself picking up a flower here and there and putting it behind my ear just to feel like a pretty island girl haha.
We took a ferry to Lombok (my favorite place ever), and on the deck I was able to sleep soundly with the breeze hitting my sore tired body. We had the deck pretty much to ourselves. I woke up to dolphins surrounding the ship, a view of clear baby blue skies and the contrast of the blue-sky ocean water. A moment of thanks had to be given. When we arrived we found a home stay called “Indah’s Home Stay”. The owner is a Dutch woman, and she has done a great job at making it feel like a home away from home. There is a straight path just for her garden with a variety of flowers and plants (that she planted herself) right when you open the door to come outside, and a little bungalow in the green scenery to enjoy your homemade Dutch pancake. The walk to the beach is about 5 minutes and you get to walk by the homes of the natives. I always think we should support local businesses anywhere in the world we go. They need it, and they do a great job at making your stay much more personal and lovely. There was a little private shower attached to the home. No warm water but it’s okay. The orange colored sky and the brightly lit moon, with the azan prayer calling from next door made it worth it and more.
I knew it was heavenly when I saw no sight of trash or bargainers pushing me into their shop. They have no speed limits. Which can be good and bad lol. Their traffic is nowhere near the chaos in Jakarta or even in Bali. The people of Lombok, or the Sassak people, still have their culture profoundly active which I was forever appreciative to experience. Clearest and cleanest waters, divine sunsets and sunrises, empty streets and friendly strangers; it was exactly what I hoped my experience in Indonesia would be. The nightlife is just like any Asian country would be—karaoke style! So of course, we danced the night away singing along like we owned the songs with the ocean waves in body lengths reach. 
The best part of traveling is that you meet people from all over the world. On our snorkeling trip to the three main Gili islands, we had a newlywed Russian couple, a woman from Estonia named Evelin, and of course my wonderful friends Lucy from England and Bri from America. With language and cultural barriers, we managed to make it work brilliantly. Swimming with the fishes and sea turtles in the exotic warm waters, running out of breath every now and then, all I could do is be grateful for every moment of this crazy journey that led me here to this moment. As I was swimming I could hear the Azan from a far away mosque, I know I mention that a lot in my writings I just cannot help that it calls at the most beautiful and vulnerable times I’ve been here.
At each island I ended up exploring what it had to offer. The first one I rented a bike to explore its tropics and bumpy roads (ouch). I ended up chilling in hammocks on the white sand beaches, climbing up cliffs, and coral/shell hunting for some true islander souvenirs. I had to get some gelato during my bike ride, just because it reminded me too much of the book “EAT PRAY LOVE”. Half my Italian dream fell off my freshly baked cone before I took my first bite. Failed attempt. From now, I guess I will just stick to my own story and not someone else’s lol. My inner female Anthony Bourdain came out as I tried the bizarre fruits and vegetables of the island dishes. Bamboo seating’s with giant luscious trees hovering over you while you watch the white waves come to shore. Heaven on earth does exist.  

OH! I recently just celebrated another life long dream—HOLI! The festival of colors, representing the welcoming of spring, forgiveness, to choose the good over the bad, to resurrect old friendships, and to focus on the color in your life and not limit yourself to just black and white. My dream is to celebrate this in India, but it was just as perfect in Indonesia. It is a day where it does not matter what your status is. Or who your father is. If you are a woman, man, rich, poor, mean, or nice IT IS FAIR GAME. Powdered colors are thrown everywhere; buckets of colored water are poured down your head, and people running around with water guns/water balloons to drench their target. EVERYONE IS HAPPY! I ate Indian delicacies from the vendors, got some henna done, and danced in the pouring rain with kind loving strangers like I was the star of my own Bollywood film. I fell in love with life and my soul all over again. I couldn’t stop smiling, dancing, or loving. My feet were numb, my skin and clothes were stained of all colors, and my entire body was saturated without a single care. I have never felt so effortlessly careless. It is a place where people can come to celebrate love and happiness, regardless of your background and faith, you are here to forget about the troubles of the past and embrace the gifts of the present. As the raindrops mixed with the droplets of colored water splashed onto my face and body from all directions, I knew every damn thing was going to be okay. Lodi lodi! <3

Now I can go on forever explaining how perfect these parts of Indonesia are but I won’t because my hands are tired. Traveling can be hard but it will be rewarding. If you stick to your gut and do what is the good and right thing to do, it will work out for you. Your perspective has to stay in the light, but it needs to know what darkness is as well.
Hold on to the little things: when a student ACTUALLY understands you and you witness learning happening. When a person who is living in poverty smiles at you as if they have no problem in the world that changes your mood, day, and life. Or even coming home to words from far away friends and loved ones who just want you to be healthy, happy, and successful. PERSPECTIVE! Keep it, love it, and do not lose it. My traveling is temporary, but the lives I touch and the lives that touch me are forever. Be good to all; give kindness even when you feel like a bus hit you. You might have just made or even saved someone’s day. Keep the light with you, even when it is trying its best to dim on you. That light is humanity and love. It needs your passion and compassion to keep shining.

            In terms of my health and spirituality, I have been trying my best to challenge myself daily. Usually I do workouts in my room with the insanity video, that my roommates always make fun of for the grunts and painful sounds I make during my work out in closed doors. Some days I lack spiritual guidance, and then the other days I realize the beauty of my spirituality is not just in my journey in Indonesia, but back home with my loved ones. The love of my life Mateen, he challenges me to be a better/happier person to keep searching for the love of God. With his love and guidance, I really feel like I perform better throughout my journey. The best gift God could give me is a soul mate that helps me get closer to God.

Goals for myself: eat more foods from the earth, read more books, pray more, and find more volunteer work with non-profits. Goals are what keep us sane when we are lost and seeking love and guidance in new places. Cheers.

Thanks for caring/loving/reading

xo

melody

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Perspective 101

Writing and maintaining a blog is hard. I want you guys to vividly picture what I go through, but in all honesty you may just have to live here to know what is what. I will try my best to be thorough and simple, because I do not want to write too long of a blog entry. You and I both know when we see something lengthy, half the time it gets a few sentences or a paragraph of our attention then EXIT.
There are moments I cry to appreciate the beauty of the island, even with the heavily scattered trash in the neighborhoods and immeasurable stench in various blocks. Other times, I find myself crying in sight of the slums. Did I mention just the SIGHT? I do not even live near the really “bad” slums I only drive by them. You see children walking barefoot (perhaps by no choice) in the muddy water (it’s wet season so the streets are extremely flooded and muddy), laughing with one another and jumping in the muddy puddles that I am always trying to avoid but fail to. My goodness, I am in tears just writing this blog because how can someone who has absolutely NOTHING, wearing the same raggedy dirty clothes and is sometimes starving, smile and laugh? Children are remarkable, they somehow figure out how to have a childhood when all their circumstances point to hardship. When I complain to myself about the stupid rats (I still hope they go extinct), my swollen bug bites, skin reactions, or other temporary bullshit I feel like a total idiot. Children do not deserve any adversity-- yet half the struggles they undergo, most well off people would have not lasted a single day including myself. The reason why I say it’s difficult to explain to you how life is here (except the travelers and foreigners/expats who are reading this lol), is because we have a tendency to read articles, newsfeeds, and other forms of content on how chronic poverty is and how detrimental it is in other parts of the world, and in result we give our moment of sadness/gratefulness (thanking our version of a “god”, universe, whatever we believe in or don’t or by posting a thankful meme on Instagram or Facebook) then we go back to our regular day to day tasks thinking we really know/understand this form of poverty. When you are immersed in the culture of deprivation and are living in the environment you are consistently emotional. When my princess self wants to complain, I tell myself to look out the window for a second and I am instantly back to appreciation 101. REAL LIFE: I can leave anytime I want, eat anything I want, do whatever I want, but many of these people cannot. Yet, they are the kindest and most lively people I have ever met. When I went to Singapore (which was amazing as well but I was there for a short period of time), essentially to me it’s similar to America but in Asia; the people were not AS welcoming and as lively as the Indonesian people but they are still very friendly and kind hearted. I saw more Porsches and M3’s there than I do in LA or San Diego lol. However, from my experience within little India, many of them were curious because of my look confusing me with some mix of Indian. I met an Indian woman who lived in Jakarta for twenty years, Delhi for six years, and Singapore for three years. She told me Jakarta is her home and to treat it right, "you will never find a city that will show you so much love from its people, I'm going to retire there."  
On another note, thankfully I have so far stuck to my goals of traveling twice a month. I went to Bandung for a weekend, which was absolutely phenomenal. I hiked up a volcano (that was leg day for me lol), fell inside the hot springs (felt like a Jacuzzi with too many naked Indonesian men that I would NEVER ask for), went to the floating market where they had food vendors on miniature canoes across the body of water (very well known in Thailand too), and had dinner in a Jungle with trees and branches that were all up in your face! I do not know half the names of the places I went to, which is stupid of me, but I am more for living in the moment and figuring out where I went later, rather than researching/studying it before and going with certain high expectations of the place. But if you really care to know the exact places I went to I can look it up in a guidebook for you lol. Needless to say, the weather was breathtaking and GREEN all over with several rice fields, tea plantations (all you teavana lovers would be in heaven), and STARS (I have not seen stars in the night sky of Jakarta yet lol). 
I love Indonesia. I can sincerely say I love this place. Do not get me wrong it has its frustrating moments just like any emerging economy or industrializing world! The social issues, political corruption, and economical injustices, misogyny, and patriarchal dominance, can be found anywhere in the world. But, when you as a person seek the beauty in all the negativity that is when you allow yourself to assimilate to a culture for the time being. I met this Irish woman who was telling me her story and the reason why she has stayed here for five years. She mentioned how openly loving this country is. SIDE NOTE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING: obviously, there are circumstances where this may not work well depending on the region and sub-culture of the area, I am not naïve nor uneducated to know this fact lol. But, it DOES happen. Okay end side note. She was explaining to me how there was a tour bus full of people of all religious backgrounds intermingling (Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus. etc). She explained how astonishing it was that they respected the stop times of those who needed to pray and adhere to their religious duties. They returned and continued their socializing seeing one another as equals and respecting each individual’s time and beliefs. When you hear stories like this, it makes you question how the hell can a country that may have “x” amount of issues in other matters be able to have everyday people work so well with one another, when many developed countries themselves have MAJOR issues with the idea of acceptance. For example, the issue of recognizing a Muslim holiday as a part of the academic calendar. As the public sphere, shifts to provide a more prominent place for Muslims, Islamophobic tendencies ample, which unfortunately in America is on the rise. On the other hand, many Americans confuse Sikhs with Muslims, which has brutally ruined several lives physically, mentally, and emotionally on several accounts. The list is endless and you can google it all if you really care. All in all, it is unfair on everyone’s behalf. It makes you put things into perspective, and shows you that us “developed” countries, DO NOT have it ALL figured out and we should take notes from those who are still developing on a thing or two.  
Again, I do not speak for ALL of Indonesia, just from my short experiences. And again, no propaganda on any matters; I must reiterate this because there is always that one person who may twist a thing or ten lol. But if there is one thing I want you to learn from my blogs is to try to view from a neutral window. If you see it too negative, then you are too cynical and will be miserable for the rest of your life lol jk…well kind of, if you are too positive then you are too naïve on the actuality of what surrounds you. Balance my friends, balance. And if you think I am wrong please tell me! I actually enjoy being wrong; it makes me learn 10x more.
Aside from all of that, I am still waiting for my visa to go through so I can start teaching. I secretly taught my class, and they are the CUTEST little ones I have ever seen. Okay I won’t go any further because this is way too long. But I want to share anything and everything, but that is impossible.
All of my love! xo 
Cheers!

Melody Sabooki

A volcano in Bandung, Indonesia ❤️

Sunday, January 19, 2014

THE BASICS



Okay, so I am going to try this Blog out and see how it goes. Well for those who do not know, I am in Indonesia for the year teaching abroad yay! Okay here is some basic info, ready? DISCLOSURE: I will only state what I see and have been exposed to. No political or religious propaganda.

Let me get all wikipedia on your for a second. Indonesia is an archipelago with over 17,500 islands, dozens of cultural influences including Chinese, Arabic, Dutch, French, and Indian, and religions, however; Islam is dominant with over 80% of the population being Muslim-Sunni. I, however, live in the capital Jakarta on the Island of Java! If you want to know more about its EXTENSIVE and many times brutal history, geography, and other contents…google it.

When I first arrived and stepped off the plane my initial reaction was “HELL NO!” I cannot do this for a year; I need my return ticket ASAP. The smell oh god…just imagine heavy-duty smokers indoors and outdoors your lungs will love the hell out of you for that, trash because they burn their shit LITERALLY, sweat and dirty must and because the concept of personal space is long gone…my friends get ready to make new best friends with people who do nothing but stare at you while rubbing against your arm and side, and all the polluted toxic waste dumps that are always nearby that you will step on and flick on your pant legs throughout your walks. I mean, I’ve lived in Iran, I knew it would be similar to Indonesia in several ways, but smell is always a difficult thing to become acquainted with. Oh and my cold showers, first you must say goodbye to warm water and hello to cold water and hello to the rustic iron smell that exudes throughout the wet room. HELLOGOODBYE!

When I was finally given my moment with Indonesia, that moment I knew I could do this for a year I started introducing myself to things I did not like--differently. I mean, come on, you cannot change a culture or a lifestyle that’s been embedded in the minds of every generation for centuries you either learn from it or go home. I chose the latter…to make it my home.  

My 4 mile walks to and from work are the highlights of my day instead of dreaded like any westerner would see it when there are flashfloods, and rats the size of “Jack Russell Terriers” (as my roommate Megan puts it) running rapidly inches away from your feet. Instead you embrace the warm raindrops for either way they will break your umbrella because they do not want you to have any form of protection from their strength. You find yourself playing hopscotch near the congested traffic (that LA-SF SHOULD NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT), to avoid the very muddy to the not so muddy puddles, sometimes you fail and fall shin deep, you laugh, well because you cannot do a dang thing about it. My favorite part, is walking nearly barefoot on the blackened street with green bamboo trees on the surrounding edges and dark clouds hovering over me with no sign of hard rain yet, just as the Azan plays (the call of prayer for Muslims). That moment, I truly feel infinite and say few words of thanks aloud. I talk to myself a lot during my walks. The Indonesians probably think I am nuts ahah. A friend of mine, a fellow teacher told me the moment she heard the Azan, her reaction was “it is a moment of belief, even if you are not a believer.”

The people of Indonesia are the kindest humans on the planet, all they want to do is share their smiles and basic English with you. “HELLO MISTER”, regardless if you are a man or woman you will hear this repeatedly on a daily basis. When I have a chance to snap a photo, they are more than willing to pose for me; they actually really love photos, which is surprising for me since it is an Islamic country and most women would want to protect their identity, however, keep in my mind there is no Shariah Law=Islamic Law in Indonesia.  I will talk about Islam in this country in another entry. You get used to the constant stares, hollers, and howls that you learn to mute it out. I realized that it comes in handy being a foreigner because EVERYONE and their moms (literally) know who you are. The security guards in my neighborhood, I am not sure how, know my name so every morning I get a “good morning melohhhdeeee” with their mobile phones aimed at my face for a photo. The time that I was lost, the random far away neighbor knew how to get me to my door. It comes in handy, especially for a “directionally-inept” person like me haha.

As far as teaching, I am in training right now so I have not received my own sets of students yet. But, they all seem so adorable! Some of them will be little “pet demons” as one of the teachers puts it hahah. I am looking forward to teaching someone the language that can bring him or her endless opportunities. It will be difficult since Bahasa Indonesian has absolutely no tenses, and each sounds remain the same, for example “A” is always “AHH”. So it will be difficult, but the challenge is accepted. Learning Indonesian on the other hand is not TOO bad, but I am still a long ways to go lol.

I am grateful that I have made a good group of friends here especially my roommates, and have met some extraordinary women from all over the world! I think Indonesia is the best place to bring people together, to share and take experiences. I mean their nightlife alone is like the Asian Dubai, very extravagant and top of the line that draws people from all over the place. Definitely did not expect that. On another note, everyone has their own story and they just need someone to listen even if you do not speak a word of their language, it’s the patience and kindness that counts. Well, I am here to listen!

Silly fact: I sleep with my lights on because I am scared the lizards will sleep on my face in the dark or a rat will appear as my pillow.

Long term Goals: A few of my goals here are to obviously teach English, travel (twice a month), meet and greet everyone, and to learn more about my personal spirituality and Islam.

If you have questions, I am here!

Thanks for reading!

Cheers!
xo


This is the river by my house! The locals fish here! Jakarta, Indonesia